"Something is better than nothing."
This phrase has honestly helped me so much. Truthfully, I've never been a thin person, my body type could be described as Dumpling. Through a whole lot of working on myself, I'm mostly okay with that. I respect the limitations my body has and metabolism I was born with. But after my Mom passed I was definitely doing some cope eating and drinking. My clothes started getting tight, and I was just generally feeling gross, so I knew I needed to do something. In the past, I've usually gone for extremes, I'm going to change everything about myself, I'm gonna eat a really low amount of calories, do this crazy workout plan, you know the drill. Then a few weeks later you realize you're still yourself and then crash, burn, binge, and hate yourself for failing. I wanted to be different this time, I can't change everything overnight, and I don't want to anymore. I like cooking and eating, I want carbs, and chocolate, I hate going to the gym. So, I told myself try one thing, and the first thing was getting more fiber, most people don't get anywhere near enough including me, and that wasn't too hard. I also put no pressure on myself to be perfect about it, because something is better than nothing.
After eating a little better, I came upon a study that basically boiled down to, walking as little as 5 minutes after you eat a meal has a measurable positive effect on your health. And I don't know why, but that clicked with me, maybe I don't start some high intensity workout, end up hurting myself, then spiraling out, maybe I just walk 5 minutes after I eat, So, I did, and 5 minutes quickly turned to many more minutes. After months of being consistent, I was able to do this mountain summit trail, I wouldn't even have tried, in the past, because the hill was too steep, and the air was too thin. It wasn't easy for me, I struggled, I took a lot of breaks, but I did it.
These things culminated into other choices, keeping better track of calories, working on the voice on my head that told me to give up, if I ate more than I intended or yelled at me for having cake, adding in a light weight routine a couple times a week. Listen, I'm not thin, I probably never will be, but my clothes fit better now, and I feel better, I feel stronger physically and mentally, and that's better than nothing.
